I Can’t Eat Anymore Steak
The dinner table where we gathered, the lighting that set the mood, the company we enjoyed, the kids' laughter in the background, and the laughter from us adults as we swapped stories all night. This sets the scene for one of my all-time favorite Saturday nights from about ten years ago where two groups, stay-at-home parents and their full-time traveling counterparts, had a great debate…can you possibly eat too much steak?
Our kids were four and two. We were enjoying a lovely evening catching up with two other couples and our kids were babysitting themselves in the background. We knew these families from the kids’ preschool. My husband stayed home with the kids at the time. He met two other lovely moms through the school and our families became great friends.
My husband, like the moms, spent time shuffling the kids to and from school, prepping breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They were running to places like the preschool, park, and library to keep the kids entertained.
I, on the other hand, like the husbands, was a business traveler. Our days were running to work or airports, hopping on flights, working on location, grabbing dinners out, staying at hotels, catching up on work in the evenings, and making sure we called home to catch up on the day and say goodnight.
As usual, my husband fit right in with the moms having much in common, just as I did with the dads. We would gravitate to each other to share the latest stories when we were together.
Late, this one fine evening, us (wo)men started talking about recent travel. We were exhausted. I was away on domestic trips to Manufacturing facilities around the US. One friend, a Banker, was traveling to his Banks throughout the west coast and our other friend, an Engineer, recently returned from China for a project.
The Engineer kicked off the conversation with what would become one of my favorite discussions of my married - mom life. He said that he was just in China for two weeks. Early in his trip he would excitedly call his wife every day to update her on his adventures…new place, new people, new food, new experiences.
As the time went on, he observed his wife’s excitement waning. Instead of happily sharing in his passion, she slowly withdrew and the conversations were shorter. He began to reflect and realized that he should probably tone his fun down just a bit. It went from, ‘oh my gosh, we went here, we went there’ to ‘well, it’s work ya know…just another day’. This was one of his first business trips, so he was enjoying his rare time away.
He realized that she was home with the kids in the daily grind and his exotic stories went from appealing to appalling. Her world was up and at ‘em for the preschoolers - school lunches, breakfast, hair brushed, teeth brushed, snacks packed…the usual. It was time for him to play it cool.
We burst out laughing during this story so of course the stay-at-home spouses overheard and piped in on the conversation. His wife anxiously awaited the end of his version of the story so she could tell us hers. ‘Oh…I am so sorry that you had to be away exploring the wonders of China while working’.
The banker traveled frequently like me and was over the hype. He contributed by saying, ‘No, seriously…it’s hard being away. You’re constantly dining out. It gets old eating steak and drinking wine. I cannot eat any more steak!’
Uh oh…here we go.
In comes sarcasm from my husband, ‘Oh! It’s so tough to eat steak and drink wine every night. I just cannot eat another steak, I am just so bored of the options! I’m eating left over dino nuggets and mac ‘n cheese for dinner!’
The room gets louder, the stories start flying…you can imagine where this is going. We are cracking up with laughter.
Suffice it to say, us (wo)men were not going to win the great steak debate! In our spouses' minds, we were on a vacation when we traveled and they were left behind to do the daily mundane family obligations. While the Engineer admitted this was a fun and new trip for him, we all agreed that business travel can be tough.
The at-home parents were tired from their routine as we were with ours. There were days when they would give anything for a break in the monotony and to enjoy alone time at a hotel. We, on the other hand, viewed this as another day at work with plane rides, falling behind on emails, having to go out for food instead of eating a home-cooked meal, and above all - losing time with our families. We were missing out on the monotonous routine they would happily trade for a break!
The moral of the story and the reason why I love sharing it is that everything is a matter of perspective. If we were to trade places, it may be glamorous for each of us for a short time and when the reality of the routine sets in, it becomes just that…routine. Regardless of what the routine is. I’ve come to enjoy it and appreciate it all for what it is and I invite you to join me in embracing your routine and adjusting to meet your needs and those of your family. If you need to mix it up, go out to dinner at Choices (see my article), order steak, and discuss your options to keep it interesting.
Even though I will never win the great steak debate, between you and me, I still think there is such a thing as “too much steak”. {Wink}. And remember, it’s all a matter of perspective.
